GOD-nizant!...

March 9th '09

Laying horizontal over my bed i was immersed in some kind of thought. Interestingly, the mind veered from topic to topic and was about to settle on one that one more thought came floating from GOD knows where( God is omnipresent i guess!!.. ;) ) I was thinking what GOD must be doing at this point of time, looking precariously over the world from his safe abode. How His world is shaped up. Though i am an atheist but still there is no harm in assuming the existence of GOD for a moment or two. Or is it??..

So out of millions of GOD n GODESSES that are present in our everyday life, each one of them have been assigned a specific role analogous to their abilities which they have developed over the years in their specific DOMAINS!.. (No..NO.. Multi-skilling and Flexibilty is not an issue!!.. ;) )like in a real life project which consists of a team and a leader, a manager and a co-ordinator, developer and a tester..etc etc..

So the most important man for the Job is the "Vishwakarma" i.e Brahma which oversees all the creation and destruction part of the organization.. U can call it as HR department. The Exact requiremnts of the company is taken care of and accordingly planning is done for the next few years. if the Project goes haywire(a.k.a Project Earth ) then he has the power to go for CDR(Corporate Debt Restructuring) or opt for closure of the company and move over to the next organization!!.. Any Scale up or Ramp Down is presided over by him!!.. :) Generator Operator Destroyer.

Next comes the Department of Death which is governed by the Ubiquitous "YAMA". The present work flow balance in this department is somewhat skewed considered the lack of resouces. But orders are overflowing as the conditions on the client side (u guessed it right!!.. Earth) is deterioting day-by-day. Considering the falling tolerance levels of onsite people, the work is expected to be steady over the years. (SO His job is secured!!.. Ufff..these Recessionary Fears!!.. ;) ) Well this is by far the most efficient department with zero Failure rate and u can be assured of timely delivery of WORK-ITEMS(who else!!.. Us) for further processing. Which means it is not a government department but the work is outsourced to third party for Operational efficiency!.. ;) Each time same CAB is used for the transport of the SOULS which needs a upgrade though as it is outdated in the present scheme of things. The Director has been pleading with the Purchase division (we'll see who is the Karta-Dharta of this Vertical!!.. ;) )but to no result.

The Corporate communication Group is heade by "NARAD-MUNI" who by far is the most efficient orator and time conscious recruit. Stating company postions to diverse sets of people to get the point across is His Speciality. The means at His disposal are advanced like the Radio communication and AirWays. The news delivery is highly personalised and to the point. (Unlike the present news readers) The analysis are thorough and comes over the years of experience and the interpretaion is left for the recepient to contemplate by his own intelligence. By the way the Opening Salutation is always the same!!.. (Narayan..Narayan) this speaks volumes about the consistency and careful articulation of words which is needed to avoid confusion and misrepresentation of FACTS.

The main troubleshooting division for any eventualities is shared by "SHIVA" and "VISHNU". Any problems related to any domain or complexity is solved by these two experts whose services can be availed when all the options have been evaluated and Failed. They have solutions for every problem. (Technical DONs ) Though "SHIVA" is a little eclectic and hot-tempered but his man-management skills are well known..(Considering the scores of followers..) Equipped with the latest resources and equipments (Trishul n Sarp) issues are resolved instantaniously. The level of force used is to be less desired though. While on the other hand "VISHNU" is more temperate and calculative WHO studies the problem at hand and try to find a peaceful solution.His Nature is more ameniable and not prone to frequent fluctuations.

Finance department, as u have guessed it by now, is headed by "LAXMI". The pay packages of all the associates is decided by HER at the start of the financial year depending upon the experience and past performance. GTS targets achieved or not is also an important factor. Though it is alleged that SHE is more favourable to Income group 500k n above leaving the less fortunates to feel desirable.. but this is being corrected by some internal practices taking expert advice from the consulting group and implementing socialistic policies. (BHARAT SHINING..INDIA WHINNING!!..) But a contingency fund is maintained for any future shocks resulting from the unknown circumstances to keep the capital adequecy ratio at desired level. Rumours are abound that the Variable pay of most of the fellow GODS can be severely affected. (Never mind the lower strata of population that dont come in picture most of the times as they r inconsequential and due to intense lobbying from vested interests ;)

Next in line comes the most underestimated but the most important department called The Department of Education i.e THE ACADEMY which is headed by none other than "SARASWATI". We can say that it is in able hands. The initial training after a new joinee is conducted by HER. Also the occasional skill-upgradation programs which crop up from time to time to enable the GODS and their followers to be better equipped with the latest in technology. Though in the past emphasis was on learning by heart but now-a-days intellectual discourse on diverse subjects are conducted to openly exchange views and ideas. The most oustanding achiever is given a chance to select HIS/HER Departments with the senior GODS and rest are given assignments as per availability at that point of time. (though mostly Death vertical is preffered as it has ample onsite opportunities!!.. )

The department of Entertainment and all other miscellaneous functions is handled by "INDRA" .So He assigned to a Horizontal rather than a Vertical. He has at its different means (apsaras and nartakis) to keep the atmosphere in HEAVEN playful. Different competitions are arranged and esteemed guests are flown in for employee satisfaction. Though the seats are limited and on first-come-first-serve basis which often leads to able contestants missing out!!...

Consider the havoc it would cause if any of the departments malfunction. All HELL(pun intended!..)would broke loose. N everyone would be running for cover. There are but obvious inexplicable delays and slip-ups in the project but considering the vast servers at their disposal the problems are sorted out ASAP. (well most of the times!!.. :))

PS :- As and when new Joinees will take place in the organization, U will be notified immediately by mail with their description!!.. ;)