We the (IT) People!.

July 17th '09

We the (IT) People are a pampered lot,

Every1 trying to get our riches which is long lost!...

We the (IT) People get a special "Concession"

Wherever we go, there r special rates just for our 'tag'-ification!..

We the (IT) People get special discount,

After inflating the prices many times count!..

We the (IT) People dont get the house,

Coz we r bachelors and dont have decent spouse!..

We the (IT) People spend a bomb,

Everything from clothes to comb!..

We the (IT) People have a weekend off,

Dont remember the week long gone!..

What required is Conversion from,

"We the (IT) People" to "We the People" :)

Pursuits!..

July 2nd '09


Just why do i come here..Ohhooo..ohhooo..


To look at the empty chairs,
Dart through the Montior in despair, Ohhoo..
Look around the harrowed faces here n there
Roam about near-full rooms for some spare.. Ohhoo..


Just why do i come here..Ohhooo..Ohhooo..


Expecting a call in progress,
Today or tomorow it will buttress, Ohhoo..
Somewhere, someone will pick a receiver n congress
I wait for that moment to emanate.. Ohhoo..


Just why do i come here..Ohhooo..Ohhooo..


Shifting-through the bus window- my gaze,
Wasting my hours to this haze..Ohhoo..
Back n forth in this jungle n mess,
Filled with void in between two rummages..Ohhoo..


Just why do i come here..Ohhooo..Ohhooo..


To pack n go out for a distant place,
Guess this is a routine in this duress..Ohhoo..
I aspired much more than being sag and perplexed,
To get on with something substantial where i m adept..Ohhoo..


Still why do i come here..Ohhoo..Ohhoo..

Inter-views!..

July 1st '09

Disclamer :- All the characters in this story is fictional. Any resemblance to living and dead, Working or on bench, On the rolls or fired is purely co-incidental!..

Interviews!.. What a dreaded word!.. Interviews can sometimes be funny, crap, useless, interesting, insightful, eye-opener!..

Well most of time it hinges on two extremes of painful disintegration of one's self confidence or an insulin shot to the already diabetic patient low on sugar!.. Most of the times its former rather than the latter..

Interviews for joining an organization is pretty cakewalk as compared to the project interviews!

CHR : Welcome!..Please sit down!..

VG:(Already sweating at what to expect) Thanks.. (Takes his position)

CHR: So tell me about urself (Looking @ resume..as if it is a blank piece of paper!..)

VG: I m VG.. Have done.. Blah Blah for 5-10 minutes!. (consciously, tring to remember the script!..)

CHR: Where do u see yourself 5 years from now?

VG:(If i had know 4 yrs down the line i would be an engineer!..;)) On some higher position to the present one!.. (Didnt know what lay ahead!..Its the safest Bet!..)

Then some technical questions!.. N voila!.. Interview finished!..

CHR: Anything u wanna ask?

VG: (Hey..am i selected?.. wats my salary?.. Where i would be posted?..) No.

CHR: Thanks. Cya

VG: Thanks!..

On the way out .. (Having i done well?.. Did i sit properly.. Have i blabbered unnecessary things??..) Swamped with humanity on all side..What did he asked?..How was the interview!.. Well By that time VG was floating in his imaginary world.. Oblivious to the outside hullabaloo...

Result :- Selected!..

Now in the organization!..Rigorous training!.. Passing all in flying colors!..

Standing before a project interviewer!..(After a 5 month hiatus!.. Well dont know whether he was sleeping or the other side!.. )

ST: U will have to give a 40 question test then technical panel interview.. then HR interview!..

VG: (Huff!.. Burnout!.. ) Okay.

ST: Sit in the room. Ur 30 minutes starts now!..

VG: (Tick..Tick..) Ann..wats was the answer..A..okay..next..Ann..

ST: Time is up. Result in 10 min.

VG: okay.

(After 30 minutes!..)

ST: Lets have an interview!..

VG: okay.

(Interview Starts)

ST: What is overridding.. what is overloading..what is a servlet.. threads.. sql..

VG: (Oh..my God!.. ) yeah..overriding is.. overloading is... servlet... (One by one answers all!.. Perspiring!.. )

ST: Okay we will let u know the result!..

After 3-4 days..

ST: Hey, u r selected. Join the project from 2morow!..

VG: Thanks!.. (Estatic!.. First project..New team!.. New Experience!..)

After 5 months...Project finished.(Nothing like VG was supposed to have as a first project...)

Next interview!..After 2 months (Still sleeping!.. these fellows!..)

RG: Hey, i have an opportunity for u.. Come to see me

VG:(Gosh!.. Atlast something to chew about!..) Yes sir. I will b there

Next Day..

RG: This is the project. Duration 2 months.. Liked to do it?

VG: (Wow..what a breeze!..No ques. asked!.. I like this guy!..) Yes. Sir!..

(Waise VG was pretty tired of waiting for the imaginary calls!.. Its time to Do some action!..)

After two months!.. VG was Released!..(Released as in not like from a jail!.. Quite dejected to go actually!..)

Eerie Silence for two more months!.. (Hmm..Do these guys work at all??..)

After 2 months!.. Next call!..

JC: Come down for an opportunity tomorow.

VG: Okay

A day passes by...

(What project?.. Which technology?.. What will he ask?.. I think this neurotic nervousness is eternal for a IT prof.)

JC: Can u come @ 5?..

VG: (Importance of time!..) ya..sure (What work do i have anyways!..)

At 5'0 clock..

JC: U have worked on so and so tech. So cm 2morow and meet PC.

VG: (??.. ) Okay..

A day passes by...

VG: Hello, Sir. U called me today.

JC: Can u come @ 4. Will introduce u to PC.

VG:(This much footage i didnt encountered while meeting my college prof.) Okay.

At 4 'o Clock..

VG: Hello, Sir

JC: Oh.. yes..

VG: Sir the interview?

JC: Ohh..ya.. Come..

PC: Hi, Come lets have a discussion.

VG: Okay.

PC: How much 'live' exp. do have on so-so tech.

VG: 5 monts.

PC: Ohh.. We were luking for 1.5. Fire-fighting actually. Sorry.

Interview time :- 5 sec!..

(By the time VG was seeting with anger. Didnt they study the resume? Dont they plan beforehand?. Every1 asks for 'live' project exp. But where does one get from?.. Why do they take freshers then?.. Blah Blah!.. )

VG: okay. No problem. Help yourself. Thanks for ur time.

(His time was 5 sec.. Mine was 2 1/2 days!..)

Next i heard VG was getting calls for a far-away place in the middle of sea to give the interviews!..

He's become expert in interviews now!.. If have any queries then please email @ VG@interviewExpert.com

Cinema Cinema-II

June 23rd '09

So after a dig at the most popular dialogues of the Hindi Film Industry, so we now look into the most funny dance sequences n lyrics to have greeeted us and made us laugh!..

Lets start off by quoting the most hilarious ones first!.. N no one can beat Govinda in this game of upmanship!..

"Ladki kamaal re ki akhiyo se Goli mare, Dishkyon!.." with Chi-Chi (wat funny petname!.. ;))trying to seduce Ravina tondon with a metaphor which our security establishment would love to emulate!.. Imagine cops killing the terrorists with their eyes!..(wat u started imagining!.. lolz!..) No Guns..No real Bullets!.. (They dont have it anyways!.. )

Another Govinda number(out of 100's) "Main toh raaste se jaa raha tha..Main toh bhel puri kha raha tha!..etcetc" Hmm.. No Comments!.. ;)

These Filmi-waalas have innate ability to come with the most outrageous filler-words in the songs..

Sample this.. "oh keindie pump up the jame oh keinde..O jaane jaana Keinde(Partner)" N wat in this world does that mean!.. Uff!..

"Roozi bood aasheqat boodam Az daste to kheyli raazi boodam Ammaa to ba'd sheytooni kardi Nazdike,bure bure ham ham ham shaitaan zara zara bachna re hamse(Bluff-Master)" Arabics @ work!.. Do not disturb!.. Btw if u get the meaning..Please lemme know!..

"Ooonnnn...Ooonnnnn...." Do i say more..yes u guessed it right!.. Himesh reshammiya with his Nasal twangs!.. Repeated again n again.. over different movies for added effects of hallucinations!... :)

Speaking of Himesh.. He has this unique style of repeatition!.. Must have got a beating at school.. Lessons learnt the hard way!..

"Kitne Armaan maan maan maan..." Gosh!.. Its never gonna stop!.. "Ashiq banaya..Ashiq banaya..Ashiq banaya!.." 3 in the price of 1!.. Not baad hun!.. :)

A full Biography can be written on him and his antics..But we leave it to Ashaji to show him his place!..

well it amazes me to see using them religious words in every other song!.. Well they must be appealing to our emotions i guess!..

In welcome!.. "Inshallah..Inshallah!.. " Notice the hero..err Villans uttering this while dancing so hideously!.. utter Disrespect to the sacred words!..

"ya ali madad ali..ya ali yeh meri zindagi!.. (Gangster)"

"khwaja mere khwaja.. (Jodha Akbar)"

"Mata ke bhakt hain hum..(I guess..Khiladi)" But one thing is sure.. They r very soulful n pleasing to listen!.. :)

Hey..Hey..Getting off track!.. Watch out!... So coming back to the funny theme...

Ever noticed the expressions on our evergreen heroes of yesterday!.. Rajesh khanna..Raj kumar..Jitendra.. etc!.. W/o any funny lines in the songs they can make us laugh!..

"Ek Banjara gaye.. Jeene ki raah dikhaye" Observe Jitendra!.. N the funny saadi waving of 'only-for-dancing' actress!.. N the waiter too!.. playing the Langdi game!.. ;)

"Yeh duniya yeh mehfil.. Mere kaam ki nahi!.." Though i like the song for its singing more.. Watch the expressions of Raj Kumar!.. Out of this world!.. U will fall off laugh seeing the over-dramatics!.. :)

"Main toh jhum jhum jhum jhum jhumroo.." Shahrukh ne yaahi se copy kiya hain!... K..K..K..K.. Kiran!..

"Yamma..yamma..yamma..yamma..yeh khubsurat saama!.." dont know the meaning!..Some name or situation maybe!??.. Actor feeling uneasy!.. ;)

N many more!.. Its exhaustive!..

"Tan-tana-tan-tan-tan-taaraa, chalti hai kya nau se baaraah ? shaam ke show ki do ticktein hain, khol ke purse batlaaoon; samajh na mujhko aisa-waisa, mere batue mein hai paisa" Salmaan patoing another Girlfriend!..

"Gore gore mukhde pe kaalaa kaalaa chashma, tauba khuda khair kare, khoob hai karishma".. n it had Raveena as lead!.. :)

"Main aaye hoon UP Bihar lootne".. Shilpa sheety ko koi samjhao!..

"Meri pant bhi sexy, meri shirt bhi sexy……………..yeh rumaal bhi sexy hai" Use of expletives!.. I dont comment on that!.. Good boy!.. hehe.. ;)

Well..Many more!.. But No time!..

(N u had the Guts to read it to the last!.. Hats off 2 u!.. lol!.. ;))

Cinema Cinema!.. PART-I

June 18th '09

From the tiltle if ur thinking that it will b another run-off-the-mill bollywood review blog then ur partly right n mostly wrong ;) Well it would be a review all right but of a different kind!.. :P

Well... Imagine ourselves viewing a flick of the 80's n 90's with great interest and enjoying the over-the-top dialogues be it a Sunny Deol action melodrama or a Govinda Masala Masti!.. But when we look back at the movies we cant help but cracking jokes about the funny dialogues and the larger than life ranting of heroes as well as villans!.. Right??..

So here comes some of the rib-tickling moments with some of my comments thrown in to add to the zing!.. Enjoy!..

Scene 1: Enter Gabbar.. "Nach basant naach" !.. (Basanti looking here n there!.. Yeh veeru kyun kuch nahi blo raha!.. )

Viru tied With ropes.. shouts.. "Nahi basanti in kutto ke saamne mat naachna!.." (Like the visual ability is impaired when tied wit ropes!..;))

Previous to this!.. Thakur tied in Gabbar's den.. Enter Gabbar!.. Instead of directly brutalizing the Thakur by chopping off!.. some screen footage!.. "Yeh haath mujhko dede thakur".. Thakur.. 'Nayee' (typical Sanjeev kumar!..Tongue half in the cheeks!.. Half shout with eyebrows raised!.. ;))Again n again!.. Cassette is scratched!.. 'Nayee' 'Nayee'!.. Are baba picture khatam ho jayegi!..kaat dal jaaldi!..

Scene 2: Sunny Deol's scenes r like a manufacturing machine!.. same setting..same product.. new packing!.. Multiple copies!..

There was a time when all his movies seemed all the same!.. Ghayal..Ghatak..Ziddi!.. A protagonist seems hell bent on taking on the system!..

Action!.. "Yeh dhai kilo ka haath..jispe paad jaata..etcetc" (Like we can measure our different body parts individually!.. ;)) Enter Amrish puri!.. Baal zatakte huai!.. "Balwant rai ke kutte"..Amrish..luking back n front!.. Who me?.. son takes off where his father left!.. And the legacy continues!..

Scene 3: "Deewar" Shashi kapoor n Amitabh fighting..Good against Evil!.. "Mera paas Bangla hain..Gaadi hain..etctetc".. Koi hame bhi dilwa do yaar!.. "tere paas kya hain!..".. After a 10 minute pause..With nose going up-up-up..STOP.."Mere paas MAA hain!.. :P".. Tadaan!.. tu jeet gaya bhai!.. ;)

Jammane se bhagate hue!... "Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aao!.. etc".. Shashi kapoor maan main.."Abe unko kahaan dhundo aab!.. tuhi dede Bhai!.."

These n many more scenes categorized n brought to the fore~~ Hindi Writers!..

Scene 4: "Andaz Apna Apna"..Well this is one of the funniest movies to be made ever!.. So many dialogues!.. i cant write here..the page will be full!..

"Mera naam hain Crime master GOGO!.." (notice he is dressed like a spiderman!.. ;) choori..par style se!.. ;)) "Ankein nikaal ke gotiya khelta hun!" (Vohoo!..No comments!.)

"Do chai kun..Ek hi..Ek chai peene se Dosti badhti hain!.." God knows the fact!.. chai peene ke baad aaj tak dono ne saath kaam nahi kiya hain!.. ;)

Scene 5: Govindaa...Ahh..i know u were waiting for it!.. How can b story completed without him!..

Figure him dancing on the road..atop a bus..in the garden.. on the roof!.. near swimming pool.. table ke uppar!..( gosh!.. is there a place which is left untouched!.. ) with his belly going up n down like a football wobbling to be kicked!..

Also his antics as a Boy-dressed-as-girls in numerous pictures!~~ If i were to marry this types!.. Mummy..Sucide!.. (No not like Viru in sholay atop a Tank!.. Waise btw how he reaches there is a big secret haan!.. Fire Brigade!.. ;))

"Tere pyaar main kya kya nahi bana Meena..Kabhi bana kutta Kabhi kameena!.." Lot many people r inspired by our macho man Dharam Paaji..Haanji...Enter Karishma kapoor!.. "doosra koi hero bacha nahi hain kya bollywood main!.. Ek hi ke saath nachwaate ho!.."

One of his perennial partner-in-crime (No..i m not talking about casting couch!.. ;)) is Shakti kapoor!.. (So..many kapoors!.. Rename it to Kollywood!..) "Main toh choota sa naanha sa baacha hun" .. Child labour in films!.. Action!.. (Are not that legal action!.. Roll Camera..Action!.. ;) )

Scene 6: Raj Kumar!.. (Chalo 'K' kahin toh aage badha!.. Kapoor se Kumar tak!..) This is my favourite in terms of spicy n Unusual dialogues!..

Action.. sir stand straight!..Without moving!.. "Hum jahaan khade hote hain vahi se line shuru hoti hain!.." All those b4 upon seeing him re-aligns themselves!..unke peeche!.. :)

"Jaani!..Hamara roomal bhi agar choote..toh haath jaal jata!..".. Magic chemical in operation here?..

"Zaamana humse hain..hum zaama ne se nahi!.." With a big cigar in the mouth!.. "Jaani" With hands scratching continuosly on the neck!.. (Jaa-ni aab bas bhi karo!...Itch guard laaga lo!.. ;))

Last but not the very means the Least!.. from my fav movie!..

"Sardar maine aapka Namak khaya hain".. Aaaa thu!.. kadwa hain!.. (TATA namak nahi hain kya!..;))

"Toh aab goli(added emphasis for grter effect!..;)) kha!.."

Dishkyaun..Dishkyaun..Dishkyaun!.. Sshhh... Everywhere Silence with only Birds Making Flapping noise!.. ;)

I rest my Case!.. ;)

P.S. :- Hope u enjoyed it!.. ;) Sequel coming up!.. if only this one is a Box-Office Hit!..Give in ur Tickets as comments!.. ;) Btw its free!.. ;)

P.P.S. :- Green Brigade is making a move on!.. Go Green!..

Morning Blues!..

June 17th '09

Well.. Today was also a day similar to several other days when i was well awake @ 7 AM.. But guess what?.. the bus was only 15 minutes away.. n here i was barely out of bed and no way in the world i could have make it through my early rituals to be on time huffing and puffing to the bus stop. So it was another day of failed attempt trying to get up early (Also there was India's match late at night didn't help to further the cause!.. ;)) and going to office by Early-morning (Hardly we can call it a regular bus ;) 7:15 is early boss!.. :))

Well i was dragging my body of early morning slumber(trying to b as slow as possible!.. coz the next scheduled departure was only at 9:45), then suddenly some random lines occurred to me!.. (Considering that my stomach was craving for food..it was quite a mean feat!... ;))

These r figments of my imaginations in early morning hour whn i shud b only bothering abt is putting toothbrush in my mouth!.. :)

Please dont wait,

I will b late..



Sleep playing mate,

I m not still up-2-date..



Sorry for the fate,

Next time I will set the record straight!.. :)

Estatic in my mind, I started for the mundane things all over again!..

New day..Old habits!.. New thoughts!.. ;)

P.S. :- Notice all the greenery around!.. Gosh!.. This Go Green campaign is starting to have desired effect on me!.. ;) Cheers!..

Smile intertwined with Sorrow!..

June 3rd '09

Why is that, world is full of sorrows

That we have to laugh a smile borrowed...

So engrossed in daily mundane life,

That we fail to appreciate the minute happy moments...

Quarrels between known and unknown,

That patience is now unheard and unpossessed trait...

Slaying for each other's blood @ the drop of the hat,

That we fail to notice they r our own brethren..

Cries of uneasiness going un-noticed,

Our emotions does not get stirred anymore..

Why is that, world is full of sorrows

That we have to laugh a smile borrowed!...